December 9, 2025

The holiday season arrives each year with an exciting mix of joy, anticipation, and oftentimes, pressure. Our calendars fill, our responsibilities multiply, and the expectations around creating “the perfect holiday” can leave even the most organized among us feeling overwhelmed. Students feel taxed by exams and adults are stressed prepping for gatherings. Beneath the glow of lights and festive gatherings lies a quiet truth: this season can test our executive function skills as much as it lifts our spirits.

But maybe that’s exactly why the heart of the season matters so much.

Executive Function: The Hidden Work Behind the Holidays

Executive function (EF) is the mental toolkit that helps us plan, prioritize, regulate emotions, manage attention, and stay flexible when things don’t go as expected. During the holidays, these EF skills are working overtime:

• Planning and Prioritizing: Coordinating events, buying gifts, preparing meals, and juggling family schedules, trying to see family and friends
• Working Memory: Keeping track of details—who likes what, what time the concert starts, what needs to be done before guests arrive, what to wear
• Emotional Regulation: Navigating family dynamics like who is attending and will we get along, expectations, grief, or stress while trying to stay cheerful
• Flexible Thinking: Handling sudden changes—sold-out items, delayed travel, unexpected guests, or recipes fail

When we notice ourselves feeling scattered, short-tempered, or stretched too thin, it’s not a failure—it’s our executive function sending a signal that capacity is limited and needs support.

But Then Comes the Reason for the Season

Whether one celebrates Christmas, Advent, Hanukkah, or simply the spirit of generosity and light in the dark of winter, the “reason for the season” invites us to pause. At its core, this time of year is less about managing logistics and more about embodying virtues that anchor us: hope, peace, joy, love, presence, and gratitude.

These themes don’t just nourish our spirits—they actually help regulate executive function:

• Hope reframes challenges, helping us persist through stress.
• Peace slows the nervous system, reinforcing emotional regulation.
• Joy fuels motivation, making tasks feel more manageable.
• Love and connection boost resilience, lowering cognitive load.
• Presence interrupts overwhelm, allowing us to engage with intention.

When we reconnect with the season’s meaning, our cognitive bandwidth expands. We give our brains permission to settle, simplify, and savor.

Where Executive Skills and the Spirit of the Season Meet

Here are gentle reminders for blending executive function care with the heart of the holidays:

• Simplify–The best memories rarely come from perfect execution—they come from authentic connection. Take time to be present with one another.
• Relax–Take time to build in moments of relaxation. Block out time on your calendar to rest, a gift to yourself and others.
• Real–Set compassionate expectations for yourself. Not everything needs to happen; not everything needs to be homemade; not every tradition must continue this year; there is no need for everything to be perfect.
• Pause before saying yes–A moment of reflection often leads to healthier boundaries.
• Think–When in doubt, return to the question: What matters most right now? Let the answer guide your choices.

A Season of Grace

If you find yourself overwhelmed, unfocused, or stretched thin, remember: the holidays challenge everyone’s executive function. It’s not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that you’re human.

The reason for the season invites a shift from pressure to purpose. It reminds us that peace can coexist with undone tasks, joy can bloom amid imperfection, and connection matters more than performance.

This year, may your executive function be supported, your spirit be centered, and your season be grounded in what truly matters.

Andrea Brunsman, M.Ed. 
Executive Function Coach, Frankenberger Associates