April 22, 2026

Why Executive Function Skills Still Matter in Young Adulthood

One of my favorite aspects of dual-discipline coaching at Frankenberger Associates is helping college students and young adults strengthen both executive functioning and social learning skills.

While these skills are ideally developed earlier in life, it is absolutely not too late to build them once students begin living independently.

Building Independence Through Daily Living Skills

Students can still learn how to independently manage activities of daily living through self-awareness and executive function skills.

What you can do as a parent:

Help your young adult track the activities of daily living they need to manage on a monthly, weekly, and daily basis. Then, have conversations with them about what you are willing to guide them with, if needed.

Monthly tasks might include refilling medications, budgeting on an online platform, completing a bulk shopping trip for essentials, or deep cleaning the bathroom or kitchen. Weekly tasks could include completing one full load of laundry from hamper to drawers or grocery shopping for the week. Daily tasks might include tidying their living space or cleaning out their backpack or work bag.

The self-awareness component comes in when they are able to determine what level of support they need, what blockers may be preventing them from completing tasks independently, and how to prioritize what matters most to them for personal reasons.

For example, keeping a clean apartment may become a priority for a young adult who is inviting a significant other over for the first time, while that same young adult might have very little food in their apartment because they already know they are going to order takeout. This does not mean they are doing something wrong—it means they are making decisions based on their current priorities.

As caregivers, we often assume what should matter most. But true independence develops when young adults begin identifying and adjusting their own priorities based on their needs in the moment. That is self-awareness.

During young adulthood, some students thrive while others struggle once they are thrust into independence. Students with a strong sense of learned helplessness often have a more difficult time adjusting to independent living.

At Frankenberger Associates, we work with many young adults who have not yet been taught how to prioritize independently or develop a clear awareness of what is most important to them and what might get in their way. Through executive function coaching, we help them build these skills and stay accountable to their independence goals.

At this stage of development, growth can be significant, as young adults are often more ready to make changes while navigating life outside of their parents’ day-to-day support.

Helping Young Adults Build Social Skills and Stay Connected

Students can still learn how to make friends and become more socially engaged while also learning how to manage their time and follow through on social commitments—both key social and executive function skills for young adults.

What you can do as a parent:

If your child is living away from home, this can become trickier to support from afar. Most young adults get annoyed when parents ask about their social lives—especially if they don’t have much to report yet.

Building a healthy social life in young adulthood requires consistent outreach and time commitment. Some students who are struggling academically begin to view socializing as a “waste of time.” That is a big mistake. Social and academic lives can actually support each other when approached intentionally.

Encourage your young adult to connect with people in their classes. These connections naturally lead to study groups and create opportunities for social plans outside of class. Young adults learn from their peers, so encourage them to seek out classmates with similar interests but stronger study habits. This allows them to build friendships while also gaining positive academic models.

Another commonly missed piece of social connection is the follow-up text or communication. While you can’t be on campus to ensure they are responding to messages after a hangout, you can help them practice this skill in a low-pressure way.

Find someone in your family or close friend group that your young adult enjoys connecting with (and don’t take it personally if it’s not you). This should be someone they would feel comfortable texting regularly—sharing photos, asking questions, and talking about their day. Encourage that person to reach out consistently.

This can mirror the missing piece in your young adult’s friendships. Over time, they begin to feel more comfortable maintaining communication, which strengthens their awareness of others and their ability to stay connected with peers.

This is a coaching carryover strategy I use often. It allows me to model what appropriate, consistent communication looks like in friendships. For many young adults I work with, this has helped turn a quiet inbox into more consistent and meaningful social engagement.

Building Self-Advocacy Skills in College and Young Adulthood

Students can still learn how to advocate more confidently for themselves while strengthening communication with teachers, professors, bosses, and landlords—an essential executive function and life skill for young adults.

What you can do as a parent:

Advocacy can be a college student’s best friend, but negative experiences in high school—or having parents communicate on their behalf—can become barriers to developing this critical adult skill.

As a parent, it’s important to allow your young adult to begin advocating for themselves with you first. Yup, that means arguing less, giving them space to set their own boundaries, and working collaboratively to listen to their goals and interests as they move further into independence.

This shift in dynamic helps them build confidence in finding and using their voice—and even more confidence when they feel genuinely heard.

Another way to build self-advocacy is by helping them understand and meet college expectations. This includes communicating with professors, attending office hours, and utilizing accommodations.

At the beginning of the semester, you can support them by:

• Identifying when professors hold office hours
• Adding those times to a monthly calendar
• Ensuring they submit accommodation paperwork early
• Supporting them in requesting extended time when needed

A helpful way to monitor this is by having them create a shared calendar that includes test dates, deadlines, and confirmation of accommodation use (such as taking tests in a separate setting).

This is one area where parents may need to stay more involved during the first year of college. The expectations around advocacy and accommodations are very different from high school, and early support here can make a significant difference in a student’s success.

Building Self-Awareness and Encouraging Healthy Risk-Taking

Students can still learn how to practice self-awareness while managing risk and stepping outside of their comfort zones—skills that support success in courses, clubs, work, and networking. These are critical executive function and social skills for young adults.

What you can do as a parent:

When approaching this area, it’s important to reflect on how much risk your young adult has taken prior to leaving for college. If your child tends to stay within their comfort zone, they will likely need more support and encouragement in this area. While college naturally pushes students outside of their comfort zones, some need more intentional guidance.

The self-awareness component comes in when they begin to recognize how they feel during new or challenging experiences, while also creating a plan to continue trying difficult things in manageable steps.

As a parent, you can support this by having ongoing conversations about how they are feeling across key areas of their life—classes, clubs, work, and networking—and then helping them determine where support is actually needed.

Classes:
Have them choose one class to report on weekly. This helps them become more comfortable sharing grades, missing assignments, and challenges, while also giving you an opportunity to problem-solve together. Set up a consistent FaceTime or Google Meet that is focused only on that course.

Clubs:
Instead of sending multiple texts about campus opportunities, keep all club and activity information in one shared document. At the beginning of the semester, set up a weekly check-in to review options and discuss involvement. This creates structure and predictability, while also modeling the types of meetings they will be expected to attend in the future.

Work:
Holding a part-time job during the first year of independence can be a powerful way to build responsibility and independence. If this is part of your plan, support them by helping organize the job search process. A shared spreadsheet or job tracker can include applications, follow-ups, interviews, and thank-you notes. Job searching is a complex process, and many young adults with executive function and social learning challenges benefit from this level of structure.

Networking:
Parents can play a valuable role here. Allow your young adult to access your network and connect them with individuals who can help them practice introducing themselves and sharing their goals. These low-risk interactions help build confidence before higher-stakes opportunities.

When having conversations about these areas, continue reinforcing the importance of risk-taking and growth. Help them break challenges into manageable steps by using language like small, medium, and large—so stepping outside their comfort zone feels achievable rather than overwhelming.

Young adulthood is an exciting, challenging, and affirming time. It is a powerful opportunity to strengthen executive functioning and social skills in real-world settings.

If you are a parent looking for additional support for your young adult, Frankenberger Associates is here to help.

Erica Hocking, B.A., Certified K-12 Special Educator

Social Learning & Executive Function Coach, Frankenberger Associates